(Warning: Lots of grammatical errors.)
- Amount of Existential Thoughts: 1,294,026.
- Good Deeds: 562,903
- Failed Opportunities to Succeed: 102,503
- Failed Suicide Attempts: 12
Death will always be a part of your life, there’s virtually no way of avoiding it, and even though it may seem frightening to most, it’s actually rather comforting. As someone who’s debated if life is worth living at all, I’ve accepted the fact that one day, I will in fact rot away albeit in a coffin, somewhere along the freeway, or in a garbage bin. There where moments when thoughts of suicide filled my head like air in a balloon, it was rather nice thinking about ending it all right now and not having to deal with all the consequences one has to face throughout life. At the same time, it’s sickening to think about, especially when you’re young and you’ve got your family to worry about, along with how it’ll affect their lives in the long-run.
Life has its dark moments, I understand that, but what do you do when you’ve had to deal with an excessive amount of tragic moments since the age of 2? There are moments in my life that have affected me until now: Member of my family getting abused, barely having anything to eat, depression/loneliness throughout high school (and now), Father leaving before you were born, being with someone who’s cheated you 10+ times and finding out after 3 years, being abused at a young age. Many people have complimented my strength, my love for the world, the respect I have for people, and the smile on my face every single day even though it’s all falling apart inside. Thank you for the kind words, it’s improved my mental game very much.
To the parents that constantly say “the kids have it easy these days, why are they so upset all the time?” Well, to answer your question, the kids are upset because of the dark future ahead of them. Housing, tuition and food prices rising faster than a thermometer in the summer. Society’s at a place where a young adult may have graduated from Harvard, or may have graduated from High School with incredible scores, yet they’ll have trouble going to college or finding a job to find themselves. Society’s at a place where people continue to exclude others due to their race, religion, wardrobe, or sexuality.
In conclusion, I’m chill with dying. Wherever I go, I’m sure it’s better than this place, but there’s one thing every human should get once they die, and it’s a stats sheet of their life.